Family members often regret leaving unspoken the things they want to say. Dorothy Hutcheson, for many years the college advisor at the prestigious Packer Collegiate School in Brooklyn, has organized parents' and students' thoughts to help them understand each other. The following are a few of the parent remarks that she uses in her college transition program for students. If you haven't already done so, perhaps you might find them worth sharing with your children when they come home this Thanksgiving.

• It is OK to make mistakes. You will learn by them.
• I want you to have a happy and healthy life and make your own decisions, and I will always be there to help.
• I have lots of confidence in you.
• I am very proud of you.
• I trust you.
• Even though it appears sometimes that I don't believe in your ability to make wise choices, deep down inside I know that your head is on straight.
• I have confidence in your ability to make a success of your college career.
• I think you are terrific and seeing you grow and develop has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.
• I miss you.
• I love you.

Adapted from College Smarts: The Official Freshman Handbook by Joyce Slayton Mitchell. Published by Garrett Park Press.