Safe Zone Project Correcting Myths and Misconceptions

1. Can homosexual people be identified by their characteristics?
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender people come in as many different shapes, colors, and sizes as do heterosexuals. Only a very small percentage can be identified by stereotypic mannerisms and characteristics. In fact many heterosexuals portray a variety of the so-called gay stereotypic characteristics. Some members of different subcultures may tend to mimic or imitate specific behaviors in an effort to "fit in." Note that members of "popular" subcultures tend to "look alike" and "act alike," such as: members of fraternities and sororities; "administrators;" "athletes; "Punkers" and "New Wavers."

2. In same sex relationships, does one partner usually play the "husband"/"butch" role and the other play the"wife"/"femme" role?
This is an old pattern that was evident in some gay relationships when gays had only the traditional heterosexual relationship as a model. Today, most gays work to develop relationships based on the principles of equality and mutuality where they are loved and appreciated for "who they are," not for the roles they are supposed to play. There is no right or wrong way that prescribes how to divide roles between partners. Often gays perform preferred tasks and share those that are less desirable (i.e., laundry, cleaning, paying bills, etc.).

3. What causes homosexuality?
This is by far one of the most controversial issues for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. It is not yet known what specifically determines sexual orientation. Some believe it is predetermined genetically or hormonally. Others maintain that all humans are predisposed to all variations of sexual/affectional behavior and "learn" a preference or orientation. Clearly, much further research is needed in this area. Some people may ask the question of causation in an attempt to "find a cure." Homosexuality has existed in cultures around the world for centuries. It has been a constant part of societies throughout history. The question therefore may not be what "causes" it, but how we come to better understand and accept all of the complexities of human sexuality.

4. Could most gay people be cured by having really good sex with a member of the opposite sex?
There are no "cures." Many persons who are gay, lesbian or bisexual had satisfying heterosexual experiences in their life time. According to the Kinsey research, some g/l/bi persons are comfortable being sexually active with heterosexuals as well. Gays, and lesbians who out of desperation or fear, choose to enter a heterosexual relationship "to get cured" may cause undue misery and pain to themselves and their partners. Most gays and lesbians would never choose to be sexually active with members of the opposite sex and would resent and challenge the inference that heterosexuals have a corner on the market of "good sex."

5. Are the majority of child molesters gay?
Over 90% of child molestation is committed by heterosexual men against young females. The overwhelming majority of homosexuals have no interest in pre-adolescent children.

6. Do most gay people regard themselves as members of the opposite sex?
Most persons who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, are comfortable with their femaleness or maleness. Being gay, lesbian or bisexual should not be confused with being transsexual, where one feels trapped in the body of the wrong sex and therefore may seek surgery to "rectify" the matter.

7. Is homosexuality 'natural'?
From a scientific point of view, it is "natural." Any animal, including humans, is capable of responding to homosexual stimuli. Research suggests that homosexuality is almost universal among all animals and is especially frequent among highly developed species. There has been evidence of homosexuality in all human cultures throughout history. In fact, one anthropological study of non-Western cultures found that 64% of their sample considered homosexuality "normal and socially acceptable" for certain members in society.

8. Can homosexuals be good teachers? Will they try to "convert" their students?
Homosexual "conversion"/seduction is no more common than is heterosexual seduction. Most teachers who are gay, lesbian or bisexual live with the fear that they will be fired immediately if they are "found out." Most if not all, gays or lesbians have no desire to "convert" students. Unfortunately, their efforts to provide support for younger GLBT students may be misconstrued and misrepresented. If, in fact, the data are correct that suggest that sexual orientation is established by age 3-6, then contact with teachers would have no effect on students.

9. Do Gay people make a conscious decision to be gay?
While researchers continue to disagree on the specific "causes" of homosexuality, they mostly agree that there is some sort of predisposition or genetic relationship involved. The "decision" may not be whether one is going to be gay or not, but rather, whether one is going to acknowledge the existence of personal homosexual feelings and behaviors. "Coming out" is a very complex, difficult, and life-long process. It may take a long time for many persons who are homosexual or bisexual to "choose" to accept homosexuality as valid and normal. Those who struggle with their sexual identity may suffer enormous anxiety, pain, and anger as they work to rectify the inherent incongruence between societal messages and their own feelings and preferences.

10. What does bisexual mean? Are there very few "bisexuals"? Are most people are either completely homosexually or heterosexually oriented?
The pioneering studies of Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his associates are most frequently cited on this question. This data suggest that, in fact, few people are either predominantly heterosexual or homosexual. Most people fall somewhere on the continuum between these two ends of the scale, and thus have the capacity to experience both affectional and sexual feelings for members of both sexes.

11. Are there significant differences in the lifestyles of gay men and lesbians?
Ideally, there should be no inherent or "proscribed" difference's in intimate relationships of any kind; however, current societal pressures on all men and women often result in distinct differences. All men, not just gay or straight, are typically "expected" to be "macho" and allowed to engage in more short-term relationships than women. Consequently, it may be more difficult for gay men to develop and maintain long-term and stable monogamous relationships. In addition, many women are socialized to believe that long-term monogamy is "right." Those who maintain that "people are people regardless of gender" may in fact feel freer to choose from among a variety of lifestyles. Until this happens all gay men and lesbians suffer from the predominance of heterosexual sex roles in a society where few gays have chosen to provide alternative role models for the "public eye."

12. Is Homosexuality a type of mental illness and can it be cured by appropriate psychotherapy?
In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders. In 1975, the American Psychological Association went further to state that, "Homosexuality, per se, implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capacities." Most, if not all, psychiatrists have had little real success in their attempts to "cure" people who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual through psychotherapy.

13. Can one homosexual experience as an adolescent determine whether a person will be homosexually oriented as an adult?
Many young boys and girls (far more than 10% of our population) have homosexual experiences in their childhood as part of the natural exploration of one's sexuality. If this statement were true, then the percentage of gays in the population would be far greater than 10%.

It's Not Just About Sex
"Being gay or bisexual is more than being sexually active with a person of the same sex. Homosexuality / bisexuality influences the entire span of experiences that life has to offer. This includes such private matters as love, affection, intimacy, spiritual, and emotional support as well as more public matters such as maintaining a household, combining finances, filing joint tax returns, and even whom you choose to dance with at a party. Sexuality is not just a component of our lives, but it deeply informs our identity. Though many say homosexuality/bisexuality is and should remain a private matter, such a reference belittles the impact that sexual orientation has on the social, economic, and intellectual aspects of our society. It is a simplification often used to limit the rights of GLB individuals, and to limit their ability to fight for those rights. People are political beings. What we read, what we eat, and who we socialize with are all political statements. Though there are some aspects of life that are more personal while others are more public, there is simply no clear split between the two." From Leigh University and the Campaign to End Homophobia.

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